Jim Bunning Meets Warren Rudman

Image licensed under Creative Commons by quinnums

"Hey Jim!, remember me?" said Warren Rudman to Jim Bunning.  Warren was visiting the Capitol building the other day and just happened to run into his old colleague!

Warren: Boy, that was some daredevil grandstanding you did the other day!  Bunning: Huh?  What do you mean?

Warren: I mean, if you had been the guy blocking the Emergency Exit on an airplane in a disaster, the other passengers would have torn you to pieces!  They probably would have clawed out your eyes first, and torn you open from scrotum to lip!  Whew!  Can't say that I would blame them... You got some major cohones, amigo!

Bunning just stared icily, as if in some hate-filled fog, at his old colleague.

Warren: Don't get me wrong!  If you recall, I tried to fight deficit spending too!  With Hollings and Gramm!  Hey!  Remember that!?

Bunning just stared blankly at Warren, his mouth open slightly.  Warren thought he saw some dribble coming out of the corner...  (Cheeze Whiz! Warren thought, is he going Gaga, developing senile dementia, or what!?  And I thought Bachmann was bad...)...

Warren: You mean you don't remember my tirades over entitlement spending in the late '80's?  Remember I even resigned my office over the same thing!

Bunning just kept staring with a quizzical look on his face.

Warren: I suppose you're right...in a way...nobody remembers my work - not even Gramm - and especially not *that big loudmouth dope on Hardball! (*IF this were Rudman or Bunning talking...)

Warren: Look, what I'm trying to say, is that you're right about deficit spending!  You just have very bad timing...you don't turn off the fire hydrant when the house is burning down!   You don't do grandstanding in an emergency, Nero!   Cheeze whiz!  Look its like this...Warren was following Bunning into the elevator...

Bunning: Excuse me!  This elevator is for Senators only!

Warren: But I am a Senator!  I'm an ex-Senator!  I'm a colleague!  They'll want to see me!  I have an appointment...

Bunning: Sorry.  (Bunning backs away and the doors close leaving Warren Rudman outside).

Warren (alone): MAN!  What an OuchebagDay!!

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/aRvVGw

FOM: Deal with GOP Senator ends one-man blockade, Jobless furious with Bunning and Kyl

Gay Batman & Dr. Process

In the Gaycave, Gay Batman and Gay Rob...er...Robin...  Robin: Hey!!!  Meanwhile, in the Gaycave, Gay Batman gets an urgent call from Gay Commissioner Gordon on the Gayphone.

Gay Batman (on speakergayphone):  Yes, Gay Commissioner Gordon!  Gay Batman here...at your service...

Gay Commissioner Gordon:  Alright, alright, cut the glirting Gay Batman!  You know I'm a happily garried Gay Police Commissioner.

Gay Batman: Well, you can't blame a girl for trying...  What is it Gay Commissioner Gordon?  Trouble?

Gay Commissioner Gordon: The worst, I'm afraid, Gay Batman.

Gay Batman: You mean, a gaytostraightconversion crime?

Gay Commissioner Gordon: Yes Gay Batman, I'm afraid so.

Gay Batman: Any idea who's behind it?

Gay Commissioner Gordon:  It appears to be the work of ...huh, stop it with the inferential jokes, would you for a minute...this isn't Family Guy...  It appears to be the work of Dr. Process.

Gay Rob...er Robin:  Hey!!!  I heard that!  Gay Batman, just who is Dr. Process?!!? 

Gay Batman: The worst kind of criminal.  He takes our kind, and makes them straight...

Gay Rob...er Robin: Oh no!  Just a few lines in and we're already giving terrible cross-referential puns!

Gay Batman: Your right Gay Rob...er Robin, thats not what we're here for?

Gay Commissioner Gordon: Helloooo?  Am I still on line?  You still there Gay Batman?  Are you girls through with the hen party?  Can we get back to the conversation, please...?

Gay Batman: Yes Gay Commissioner Gordon, you were clucking?

Gay Commissioner Gordon: Now see here...oh, never mind you idiots...you almost made me say something offensive...

Gay Batman: What was it?  What were you thinking???

Gay Commissioner Gordon: Never mind, never mind.  The point is, we believe Dr. Process is turning some of our citizens straight.

Gay Batman: What!?!?  That Fiend!!!  Gay Rob...er Robin: Noooooooooooo!!!!!

Gay Commissioner Gordon: Yes, I'm afraid so!

Gay Batman: Yes Gay Commissioner Gordon, we'll get right on top of him...er it!

Gay Commissioner Gordon: Enough with the lame puns!  (Hangs up).

Gay Rob...er Robin: Where do we start Gay Batman?  And why is he called Dr. Process?

Gay Batman: Sorry, Robin, I thought that was clear.  Its because he turns our kind straight!

Gay Rob...er Robin: Noooooooo!!!!

Gay Announcer: Tune in next time, same Gay Bat Channel, same Gay Bat Time

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/9NoQUF

The Gay Batman and the Gay Parallel Universe

Image licensed under Creative Commons by Alex Castella

Sometimes, our senior editor gets a little "silly" and sends us off on a strange tangent like thinking about Gay Batman in a Gay Parallel Universe and his Gay Batcave.  Sigh...you guessed it, this is one of our writing assignments for the day.  (And, if we don't sell enough books today, we don't get paid).


So, we made some feeble attempts to find our Gay Batman on the internet.  When we 'google I'm feeling lucky' Gay Batman we found...you guessed it...Batman (the Wikipedia link)...  We did however find a Twitter account with the TwitName @gaybatman.  But, we didn't come away with much information.  We should mention that one of our tweeps (http://twitter.com/EasyGayLife) gave us permission to mention his twitname and that he employs a Batman & Robin avatar on his tweets!

Does the Gay Batman call the Batphone the Gayphone?  Does he use the Gayphone to take calls from the Gay Commissioner Gordon?  Is Superman gay in the Gay Parallel Universe...or is he just Superman?  And what about Wonder Woman...hmmm...Aquaman and the Green Arrow would also be likely candidates...  This is addressed as a serious topic in the Wikipedia pages LGBT Themes in American Mainstream Comics (Wikipedia link) and Homosexuality in the Batman Franchise (Wikipedia link).

But, isn't the "real" Batman already gay?  This is explored in the Wiki pages linked above.  Doesn't this disprove that parallel universes are, therefore, impossible?  Or, at least, that the Gay Parallel Universe populated by Gay Superheroes is impossible?

We guess that we are also exploring themes of our childhood.  We used to collect Batman comics rabidly as children (sigh...however, our sainted mother secretly discarded them all secretly...what a tragic loss...).  Does this imply that we too, are gay?  Don't think so, though, politically speaking, we support gay rights including gay marriage ('garriage')...  Not so much to be hip as to support civil rights.  We are very big on civil rights.  But, with no hope of a Gay Parallel Universe is there any hope for civil rights?  We hope so, we hope so.

We used to watch the original Batman TV series with campy fascination.  We still howl with laughter whenever Adam West does a voiceover on Family Guy.

So, where is Gay Batman?  It seems we need him now more than ever?  We would love to have seen Gay Batman show up at the recent national prayer breakfast in his gay bat regalia.  We would have loved to have seen Gay Batman stand up and applaud and whistle when Obama decried Ugandan Anti-Gay Laws.  (Where were The Yes Men, by the way?...)  Of course, we would have loved to have seen Gay Batman there tweeting about gayporn on his gay BatiPhone during the the invocation (What Could Be Worse?).  We would have gone...bats.

Gay Batman save us!

FOM: SAFE SCHOOL PROPOSAL: Two lawmakers want to exclude gay and lesbien students,  The Gay Batcave / The Gaycave, The Yes Men Website (link), Homosexuality in the Batman Franchise (Wikipedia link), LGBT Themes in American Mainstream Comics (Wikipedia link) and Batman (Wikipedia link)

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/amxM9a

Revised/Updated: Friday, February 5, 2010; Sunday, February 7, 2010; Monday, February 8, 2010.

What Could Be Worse?

#Whatcouldbeworse?







Trading in your #Toyota for a #Prius


Trading in your #Prius for a #Toyota


Trading in anything for a #Toyota #Prius


“Trading up” to a #Lexus

Tweeting about gayporn during the presidential invocation at a national prayer breakfast

Dropping your beer in the library

Dropping your beer during the job interview

Dropping your beer at a wake (apologies to Jeff Foxworthy for the last three...)

Dropping your beer at a papal audience

Your nose starts bleeding during a meeting with your boss after she returns from a long vacation or absence

Having to turn in a sex tape...about your former boss... http://su.pr/1OOrn5

How can #SarahSilvermanProgram be back on!? Didnt #COMEDYCENTRAL cancel it already!? #SoConfused Sorry #Sillies #whatcouldbeworse?







Having some newscaster reading these dumb tweets live on TV during a presidential invocation at a prayer breakfast #whatcouldbeworse?


Throwing up uncontrollably during a presidential invocation at a prayer breakfast on Live TV #whatcouldbeworse?






Leaving your mike on during a restroom break during a presidential invocation at a prayer breakfast on Live TV #whatcouldbeworse?






Snoring during a presidential invocation at a prayer breakfast on Live TV #whatcouldbeworse?






Listening to loud hardcoregayporn on your iPhone wearing earbuds during a presidential invocation at a prayer breakfast #whatcouldbeworse?


Wearing earbuds on your iPhone during a presidential invocation at a prayer breakfast #whatcouldbeworse?






Looking at hardcoregayporn on your iPhone during a presidential invocation #whatcouldbeworse?






Looking at hardcoregayporn on your iPhone during a presidential prayer breakfast #whatcouldbeworse?






Looking at softcoreporn on your iPhone during a presidential prayer breakfast #whatcouldbeworse?






Looking at softcoreporn on your monitor during a TV interview #whatcouldbeworse?






Tweeting during a presidential prayer breakfast #whatcouldbeworse?






Texting while driving a Toyota in Haiti #whatcouldbeworse?






Texting while driving a Toyota #whatcouldbeworse?






Passing gass at a presidential prayer breakfast #whatcouldbeworse






Driving a Toyota in Haiti #whatcouldbeworse


Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/d7RsjF